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InsecureWritersSupportGroup2It’s IWSG Wednesday, the monthly charge of insecurity that is trampled out by Alex Cavanaugh and this month’s co-host:

Heather Gardner:  HERE 

T. Decker: HERE

Eva E. Solar: HERE

Patsy Collins: HERE

Seasonal Insecurity Disorder

Days roll into months, months meld with the changing seasons. The passage of time (which is an entirely human construct,) is marked by days, months, and seasons. Some seasons align with holiday events, one moment now stretched over days and weeks, nearly all of it over-commercialized. Somewhere the moment gets lost and I wonder if we even notice.

At times, the insecurity isn’t with the writing, though it still gets in the way. Personally I’m in a brighter place with the written word than I have been in a while. A new poetry book release, dates and plans to complete/publish my first novel all neatly penned onto the calendar (and trying to take advantage of certain seasons,) three  poems to be published in a lit magazine in 2015. I am grateful, amazed, often stunned . . . and at times insecure. But right now, it’s good.

But the insecurity of life, of our world, of the next moment; can my words slay the dragons of insecurity in my experience? The season of giving is also a season of madness and commerciality that sets me back every year. It has been this way for over 30 years, as evidenced by this poem from decades ago:

 

ALONE ON CHRISTMAS

To be alone on Christmas
and have time to–to think–
of others with families,
of others alone,
on Christmas.

To be alone on Christmas
and have time–to think–
of all the presents and publicity,
of all the commerciality,
of Christmas.

To be alone on Christmas
and have time–to think–
of how sad some people are,
of how lonely some people are,
on Christmas.

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I am blessed in so many ways, more than I should be (I think), but sometimes I am left with nothing but words. Therein I a find my own brand of seasonal disorder: Insecurity of words without power. Will my words combat stress, combat homelessness and hunger? Will my words help people smile at a time when they have nothing else to get them through the day?

There is hope for I am not out of words, and my desire to continue to share them isn’t diminishing. Sometimes my word stars shine a little less bright, but I will not let them fade to black. I will keep writing if for no other reason that someone may find them . . . and smile.

Do you find outside interferences creating insecurity in your words? What do you do to combat those moments? Share your struggles and success in comments below.

 

 

 

 

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